Christmas Letter, Blog Style

So high everyone I never seem to have time to write actual cards and letters to:

Merry Christmas and every other day of the year.

What is the Jensen family up to these days? Well, let me tell you, it's a fantastical, fun, and immenently dull life we live, so I'll try to spice it up a little.

Okay: Kids first.

Melissa is a junior at Boise State (yes the football place, go Broncos!). She is majoring in history. You're shocked, I can tell. Who would have thought history freak would actually major in her favorite subject? She seems quite enthralled with it, and she hopes to minor in art history. Melissa was thinking of teaching, but when faced with the incredibly banal curriculum ed majors have to endure, she opted to forgo that option. She is thinking of going to graduate school, but still has gobs of time to figure that out. I encourage her to stay in school as long as possible, since there are no jobs out here in the real world anyway. Melissa moved into her own apartment where she happily lives with herself. No sharing, no scheduling the showers, no having other people eat the food in the refrigerator. Her only burden is an intense fear of the smoke detector being ignited by any and all smells, temperatures, and steam from showers/stoves.

Emily graduated from Boise High last spring with something like a 4.2 GPA and with AP Scholar with Honors distinction. (Graduation night: below.)During a whirlwind of changing plans, she was planning at first to go to New Mexico Tech this fall, but then decided she needed a year off. So then an exchange program was plan B. She was all lined up to travel to Belgium and perfect her French, but opted out of that as well. So plan C, current version, is what she is currently doing: hanging out in Boise and working while trying to finish up her pilot's license, which she started working on a while back. She thinks she might attend BSU for a year or two to learn more languages before heading to New Mexico to major in astrophysics. Having goals is important, don't you think? Setting them awfully high means being in school for the rest of her life, but hey, no jobs in the real world, etc. Emily has a boyfriend named Isaac who is very sweet, smart, and fun to be around. Which is why she spends most of her time with him.

Peter is a certified band geek, chess geek, Boy Scout geek. He is also a choir nerd. As an 8th grader this year, he is learning all the joys of digital media, video broadcasting, along with European history (they're on the Renaissance right now), accelerated algebra, earth science, and English. Plus, did I mention, band? He is a percussionist and also plays in jazz band. He earned his Star level in Scouts, did a 50 mile backpack scout trip, camped in the winter in snow qunizies, and spent a week in the Black Hills at scout camp. He is emerging as quite an effective leader in scouts, which is very good for him. He likes that role. Most nights, you can find Peter in front of the tv, with his iPod in his ears, and working on algebra problems for at least an hour. He is totally into comedians: We've seen Brian Regan and will see Jeff Dunham in January. Peter's next adventure? In six months, he'll be old enough for driver's ed. Yay!?

Okay, enough with the kids already. Now onto what's really important: the dogs. Just kidding. All three dogs are still kicking, barking, leaping, pooping, and shedding. 'Nuf said.

David is always our quick summary. Still at the same firm for 20 years, for which he received a lovely...clock. He's extremely active in scouts with Peter's troop and also mentoring Webelos as they transition up. The troop camps once a month all year long, and I think it's nice for David to get that time away--albeit with 20 teenaged boys. He also ushers at church, which involves hanging out in the back of the church chatting with his buddies.

Neysa, sigh, alas, did not get hired as a teacher. Which is probably for the best, since as you know, I'm not big on mornings. It has all worked out pretty well, however, because I went back to freelancing and have more work than I really have time for. I also am working part time in my favorite indie bookstore, which is totally fun. Writing lots, making lots of music with lots of different people, and working on losing weight. So far, 35 pounds gone. (Melissa has lost 50. You wouldn't recognize her.)

In other life events, all of us except Emily traveled to New York to participate in a performance at Carnegie Hall, conducted by our good friend Paul Aitken. Melissa and Peter both sang in Carnegie (photo, above), plus we saw a Broadway show, played tourist, and had a great time. (Lest you think we were mean to Emily, the reason she wasn't booked into the trip was because she had been planning on being in Belgium at the time.) David and I had our 30th high school reunion--yes, we really are that old. Sigh. We've gotten out into Idaho and played in the snow, the water, and the mountains. (That's us snowshoeing below. Okay, actually we're standing in the snow, but we were snowshoeing just seconds before.)

Oh, I'm sure there are lots of other details you'd like to know about us, but are afraid to ask. So I'll answer them for you:

1. No, we don't quite know what happened to Boise State at Nevada. They messed up. Thank goodness, the bowl game they'll be in will at least have a worthy opponent in Univ. of Utah.

2. Yes, I did forget to mention that Peter played tennis this fall. He has improved quite a bit over last year.

3. You're right, seven hours in the Met is just not enough time, but hey, you take what you can get. On the up side, the Shake Shack near the Natural History Museum.

4. It's true: David likes to sleep with the window open, and I like it closed. Somehow, we are still married after 26 years.

5. Empty nest is just a myth. Even when kids move out, they come over a lot: to do laundry, get money, complain, and sometimes even to just hang out.

6. We are so lucky to have a warm place to sleep, food to eat, clean water to keep us alive, and a loving family to support us. We wish this for all the inhabitants of the world. Yes, we CAN make it happen if we all dig our heads out of the sand, take an interest besides ourselves, and give a little of our incredible wealth to see these goals through. Sorry to go all serious on you, but that's how I roll.

I Don't Mean to be a Scrooge, but

Let me start with a disclaimer. I love Christmas. I love presents. I love food. I love sparkly twinkling lights. But there are many things about the modern American observance of Christmas that drive me crazy.

Today my newspaper had an article about some families in the area who had decked out their houses with so many lights it looked like a scene from that movie with Mathew Broderick and Danny DeVito, Deck the Halls. Seriously. Now, the article was a nice one that encouraged people to drive around a view all these lovely lights. When I read it, not only was I aghast at the sheer gaudiness of it all, I was astounded at how ridiculous these homes looked with so many lights. And here's what bothered me: gas is $2.69 a gallon last time I filled up, not to mention it pollutes like the dickens. And the author of the article wants us to go drive around to see these lights? Second, think of all the electricity, money, and time spent on these displays. How much good could these families have done if they had put all that energy, money, and time into helping their fellow human beings? To their credit, one family asked everyone who came to their home to see the lights to make a charitable donation. Good for them.

The other day, Melissa and I were at Target. I've made it quite clear that I hate shopping, right? But I went with her, because I was in a rare shopping mood. But I have to say, everything at Target just reeked with sameness. Homogeneity. Plastic trash. I just was not inspired by anything there. It was all so...I don't know...useless. I confess that when I shop I prefer local businesses, but Target is one of my preferred chain stores in general. Yet, that day, I was struck with visual images of 25 dresses all exactly the same lined up on a rack. I had a very hard time feeling the joy.

My husband's Christmas party was last night. At times, depending on who plans the party, they can have a rollicking good time. One year they had a swing band and we stayed and danced until we closed down the party. In the early years, we had entertainment, like a high school choir or a short Christmas play. I liked that. Partly because I hate going to parties where I know very few people and I am expected to sit and chat with them like they're my long lost cousins, especially when the noise level is approximately the same as the runway when F-15s take off. But not this year. This year, we had a nice, but boring, meal at an exclusive club. That's it. A meal. No entertainment. No music. Not even a cheesy gift or the tiny bit of happy anticipation that you might win the centerpiece at your table. Okay, I realize we're in a recession and that the firm needs to keep expenses to a minimum. I"m all for that. I'd rather have a fun party with no dinner than an awkward dinner with people I don't even know.

Now, the party we had after the Christmas at the Cathedral, that was fun. Of course, I knew all the people, so that helped.

I guess my point is that I would rather have Christmas be less gaudy, less strained conversation with strangers, and less commercial crap. I have tried to fill my time with family, friends, and an occasional foray into the shops. I want to bake cookies, drink tea, and hope for snow. I want to sing Silent Night in the candlelight on Christmas Eve.

I hate to sound like a Scrooge, but maybe I am. Or maybe I have it figured out and the rest of the country just needs to catch up. I'm not saying those families don't enjoy hanging all those lights and stuff. I'm not saying buying one of those 25 same dresses at Target is wrong. Or that the person who planned the Christmas party is an idiot. I'm just saying, it's not me.

I hope whatever makes you happy this Christmas, you get to do it.

Peace,
Neysa

Christmas Stress?

So I'm sitting in my Weight Watchers meeting yesterday (yay me!) and we're talking about how to handle the holiday stress. I have to honestly say that I am finally at a place where I do not have major stress over the holidays anymore. Part of why this is so is what I want to share today.

Years ago, when the kids were younguns, I wanted things to be so perfect. I decorated the whole house, I made handmade advent countdown chains out of construction paper, bought presents for the less fortunate, I wrote my witty and heartfelt Christmas letter to one and all, blah, blah, blah. As I learned how to take care of myself, love myself, do what nourishes me instead of what I feel I need to do for the good opinion of everyone else, I learned to let go of my perfectionism. (Some say I may have let go too far, since now I am about as un-perfect as one can be, but that's their problem.)

Here are some things I did to make the holidays fun again.

First, I axed the Christmas letter. I still do it, just at some other time of year, whenever the mood hits me to reach out to people I never see anymore and still want them to know I'm alive. This not only saves stress, it saves money. I don't have to buy Christmas cards anymore. I just send a nice long letter in the middle of, say, spring break, and everyone is happy. They don't expect a card.

Second, I quit getting the tree up early. We now put up our Christmas tree on Christmas Eve, just like they used to in the "old country"--assuming we have any ancestors from the old country. Nevertheless, we don't have this large tree taking up half our living room using up electricity for the lights. It makes the moment more special, too, because all the presents aren't piling up for a month. It takes the focus off the presents, I think. A definite bonus.

Third, this year, I have yet to put up any Christmas decorations. At the risk of sounding like a Scrooge, I really don't feel like taking the time to put up a bunch of nick knacks that collect dust and then I just have to take them down again in a few weeks. I will eventually put up a few. Maybe this week. Maybe next. If the mood strikes. One of the kids, probably Peter, will likely decide it's time to get out some decorations and will go ahead and do it, if I wait long enough. (Which helps prove Melissa's theory that if you ignore something long enough, it will go away.)

Fourth, I refuse to go to the mall. I really hate shopping during "normal" times. I abhor it during Christmas. This is due most likely to the fact that I generally don't like people, especially in large quantities. I might do some shopping, in secret, on a Friday night, but definitely not at the mall. I still give presents. How they come to be in my house is a bit of a mystery to me, because the end up here without a lot of stress on my part. I do have to confess to using the internet a lot.

Fifth, due to the fact that I generally don't like people, I am not invited to many parties. In fact, we go to David's firm's party, and that's about it. I'm not begging for invitations, mind you, so don't invite me. I don't like people. Last year we did invite some friends over after Christmas, and that was a lot of fun. I will try to do that again this year. I really do like people, after all, only the ones I already know and like. Not a bunch of strangers all crowding around me.

Sixth, not having a job and being generally lazy in all ways, I have a lot of time on my hands, which lessens the stress considerably. I can practice my flute for the many musical gigs that happen during Christmas--which is my favorite part of the holidays really. I can watch the snow fall and sip my tea. I can cuddle with the dogs. It's a luxury, for sure. Doesn't help with the financial end of the holiday, but that's why I like the fact that we de-emphasize the presents. This year, I'm putting out a jar in which my family can write their "wishes" down, wishes for things they'd like others to do for them. Then we will draw them out and do them for each other. I hope it works. If not, I won't stress about it, because I'm just that lazy. It's an idea.

To sum up, I basically think that the reason my stress at holiday time is so much lower than most everyone else is that I pretty much continue about my ordinary life and celebrate the actual day without getting sucked into the insanity of months of preparation. I like it simple. I wish all of you a wonderful, blessed, warm and cozy, and totally imperfect holiday season.

Peace,
Neysa

Christmas Mania

I opened my newspaper Monday morning to see an article about how to survive the holiday crush and stress. Eeek. This makes me really mad. We've been enjoying our holidays for years without stress and angst. Let me tell you a secret. You don't have to act like a typical American, buying everything in sight. Your children will still love you if you don't give them the latest electronic device, toy, or trip to Hawaii. Your friends will still be your friends even if you don't send out Christmas cards.

Here's our strategy for really loving our holidays.

First, we celebrate the holiday that is here now. We don't worry about Christmas when Halloween just ended. We think about Thanksgiving in November. It's one of our favorite family holidays. I suspect this has something to do with the fact that it is relatively non-commercialized. We make a big dinner and sit around with our loved ones chatting and playing games. Wow. Profound, huh? We have a great time.

Second, we don't go to every Christmas party we're invited to. Maybe one or two. Low key. Show up, eat, drink, be merry. Go home before midnight. Having fun, but not overindulging.

Third, I stopped sending out Christmas cards years ago. I do send out an annual update about our family and our lives. I do this when the mood strikes. Sometimes it's my birthday, sometimes Easter, sometimes Groundhogs Day. It depends. I like it this way. I do it when I want, and my friends get mail in the middle of the year. Radical.

Fourth, we decided years ago to put up our Christmas tree on Christmas Eve, not before. I never realized how much stress it created for me having a tree inside the house all month. We live in a pretty small house, and a tree takes up a lot of room. Now, part of our lovely Christmas Eve is putting up our tree and decorating it. It makes for a very festive Christmas Eve. And we take it down at Epiphany. Perfect. 12 days.

Fifth, we try not to be extravagant about gifts. If one person gets something really big and special, that doesn't mean everyone does. We try to give things we know that person will just love. I hate receiving gifts that are obviously something the person just bought the day before because they were desperate and needed something. I'd rather get nothing. Yes, you heard me. Nothing. I like homemade gifts. Books. Etc.

I truly think why we enjoy our holidays so much and so simply is that we observe them in due time. We don't ignore the joy of after-Thanksgiving glow by shopping our brains out on Black Friday. We are still thanks-giving. We don't spend all of December in a frantic rush of purchasing an entire city block of stuff. We like music, and movies, and simple things, and that's what we do.

I could go on and on about America's obsession with buy, buy, buy. It's sickening. So take the first step. DO NOT SHOP on Black Friday. Don't. Do. It. See how freeing it is to snub the corporate retail establishment. What fun. If you want, come over to my house for some hot cider and pumpkin pie instead. We'll probably have a rousing game of Apples to Apples going.

Cheers,
Neysa