Tuesday, October 6, 2009

if you pass out, see a doctor

So i'm currently in the process of doing health online. This is not a fun thing and i find the fact that the class is required ridiculous. But here i am. I'm on the "disease prevention" chapter, which really should be called the "disease" chapter. There have been two sentences about preventing illness and 50 pages on what different illnesses are. (all of them increasingly gross). With each disease there are two things that are at least somewhat entertaining. The first is the list of symptoms for the disease with the warning "if you have any of these symptoms see a doctor." For every single disease, i kid you not, are these two very important symptoms. 1: fatigue. So, if you're tired at all you must be sick. Well better get down to the doctor. 2: lose of consciousness. Oh yeah, when i'm unconscious the first thing i do is head down to the doctor.

Nurse: "so what are you here for?"

Patient: "well i seem to be unconscious."

That makes perfect sense.

The other thing that can be interesting is the list of risk factors (they like lists). One of the more common risk factors is age. But my favorite one was "males over 20." Just wonderful. When i read that i kind of laughed inside. (haha, you males). I love how diseases can be sexist and rascist and overall discriminatory.

All of this reminds me of those lawsuit commercials on TV now. They don't do this any more but when they first started showing up they'd say "if you have experienced these symptoms or death, call now." Well, i'll be sure to call them from the grave, just as soon as they get reception down here.

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